Is this for real? (PAST POST - Written May 17th)

Jesse here with my first guest post - I think this news warrants such an event.

Yesterday (Thursday, May 16th) at 11:44 am I received an instant message from Kylie asking me to meet her in a conference room. No context. We work in the same building but this is not a normal occurrence.

I think, "Uh oh, bad news? Work? Family?" We currently have our condo on the market so it could be about that but seems she would likely IM or call. I'm busy with work so not analyzing too much plus she is on her way up within the minute. She arrives on our floor and seems relatively calm (a good but curious sign) and then...

We go into a conference room and she pulls something out of a paper bag and shows me the screen...PREGNANT!

"Wait, am I reading this right? Is it reliable? What are we supposed to do? This is amazing but do we believe it? How do we know for sure?"

Mind you we are in a glass conference room on a busy floor - over the top celebrations aren't really going to work. Plus, I'm having serious disbelief and experiencing slow processing speed. So I start asking the questions mentioned above. And it's clear Kylie is still in a  state of disbelief as well so she's not exactly offering definitive answers. But she confirms the test says it is 99% accurate so it seems this is for real. I feel a sense of skeptical excitement and I try to communicate my happiness in the midst of it all. 15 minutes later we are back at our respective desks a few floors apart and I'm thinking, "holy shi@!"

We continue to chat throughout the day and I go through alternating states of disbelief and excitement. Those feelings are distracted by our conversation about the irony of finding out hours before Kylie is scheduled to fly to Santa Barbara for Carla's bachelorette weekend including wine tasting and a night on the town.

I drive her to the airport and can't help but think we now have three in the car. Kylie talks about the size and the timeline and just like that our lives have changed in an amazingly positive way. We are keenly aware that it is way too early to get excited but it is hard not to think ahead. We have both wanted this in our own right for quite some time and it is now a precarious reality. We discuss whether we should tell anyone for a few more weeks and agree it's probably best to tell the most immediate inner circle to share the excitement and in case of the need for support if something goes wrong.

After dropping Kylie at the airport I head for a workout with all kinds of thoughts running through my head. Mostly disbelief but also moments of pure joy and excitement. Though not in a rush, I have always been excited to be a dad. As I walk in the door to Lanse's house (our temporary home base) I think, "man do we have some news for you!"

So far my thoughts have continuously wavered between disbelief and cautious optimism. When Kylie makes statements on the phone regarding "our baby" it is hard to believe. And though I know it's early I am beyond excited about what lies ahead.